What I Wish I Knew About Depression

Here’s a letter to myself while in a deep and dark depression… from my happier self.

 

Dear me

 

I want you to know you are still and always my favourite person. Even in the dark, confusing depths of depression, I can see you trying so hard. Trying to help yourself, help others, help your family; make dinner, make the bed, make your hair pretty; clean the house, clean the garden, clean the toys. Just remember, you are enough. You are.

You feel like there’s something wrong, but you don’t always know what it is. There’s a reason why you can’t find laughter at the end of a good joke; why you don’t want to be with your gorgeous friends; why parenting feels relentless and tough; why you’re feeling more distance than ever between you and your incredible husband; why you’re jealous of everyone with a smile. Go find a professional right this minute and talk it through. It’ll come to you and you’ll have help. Win win.

There are so many signs for you to be outside, your intuition tells you daily to get your bum on some grass, sand between toes, hands on flowers, head in the sunshine. Go and do it. Please.

When someone hugs you, holds your face in their hands, asks you what’s wrong, don’t feel weak. It’s okay to crumble. It’s good to cry. Just be honest about how you’re feeling. If you can’t lift yourself out, let other people help you. That’s exactly what friends are for.

You don’t need to be perfect all the time. Scrap that. You don’t need to be perfect, ever. You don’t need to fit into what other people expect from you. Just be you, whatever shape that looks like today. Stop fighting yourself. Stop resisting. Drop the guilt. Ask for help. Eat the chocolate. Pat the dog. Or don’t. Just stop agonizing over everything.

Tune into it. Whenever something is going on that’s putting you out of balance – a foggy head, an angry heart, a sore back, a crampy tummy – imagine what it looks like. Tune into it completely. What shape and size is it? Cloudy or clear? What colour? What else is going on? This is a good reminder that it’s not you, it never was you, it’s a thing and it will go away. Breathe into it and let it flow through you.

Take those vitamins. You know that drawer of vitamins you have? Take them. Start with Vitamin D3 and a multi and let your intuition guide you through the rest.

I love you, and you’re going to be okay. But right now, you are enough.

Love

LOVE_KRIS

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16 Comments

  1. Beautifully written and so beautifully extracted from your heart.

    Thank you Lady Frankie, you are most certainly enough and more!

    Thank you for sharing this with us all.

    xx

  2. So beautifully written and so helpful to me right now as the black dog is nipping at my heels x

    • Hi Aleney, sorry to hear you’ve got your own dog too. Have you got someone to talk to and to help you out? I’m off to get some much needed therapy this Friday and I can’t wait. I hope you’ve got some support and a plan, don’t let it curl up on your lap for long x

  3. What a great idea to write this letter. And how very kind you were to yourself. I hope so much that this will help you in your worst moments, when you feel like there is no sunshine. And great advice to get out in nature. Make it a habit – you’ll be glad you did.

    • Hi Tracey, I too hope that this will help if the black dog sneaks up again on me. Yes nature hurrah! What a grand idea, every day. Today I sat in the sun and had lunch, it was splendid. Thanks for stopping by. Kris

  4. Amber at Adventures of a Rainbow Mama

    Oh Kris, I wish I could give you a real HUG right now but you’ll have to settle for a virtual one. Squuuzeeeeezzee <3

    "Just be you, whatever shape that looks like today. Stop fighting yourself. Stop resisting. Drop the guilt. Ask for help. Eat the chocolate. Pat the dog. Or don’t. Just stop agonizing over everything." Amen.

    This is such a beautiful letter, I hope you read it to yourself everyday. And I have to ask to big Q… have you taken the step to find a professional yet? You know what you need to do. Believe in yourself enough to DO it.

    "I want you to know you are still and always my favourite person. Even in the dark, confusing depths of depression, I can see you trying so hard. Trying to help yourself, help others, help your family; make dinner, make the bed, make your hair pretty; clean the house, clean the garden, clean the toys. Just remember, you are enough. You are." Ahhhhh.

    Thank you for connecting with me on my site – I loved finding yours. Let's be friends πŸ™‚ Amber. XO

  5. Pingback: The source of all healing {skinny dipping + spirituality} » Lady Frankie

  6. I love this honey, it is so pure and deep! You’ve inspired me to write a letter to myself πŸ™‚ x

  7. This is beautiful Kris. I’ve actually done something similar in the past – really should whip it out and read over it. How touching, thanks for sharing. X

  8. Beautifully written Kris. Thank you for being so vulnerable πŸ™‚ xx

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